Random #11

Haven't been updating my life here and sometimes, I feel lazy to update this anymore. I am not quite sure why this is happening. Maybe there's some kind of virus which affects one's blogging ability because I think I am losing mine.

Anyway, on Thursday, I met up with Edris, Julia and Sharon at Ang Mo Kio, our old place during JC times. Felt a little disappointed because our AJ Ice is gone, and most of our teachers (including one of my favourite teachers) are already not in AJC. Although not many people managed to come, we talked a lot-like almost non-stop- about any topics under the sun.

We planned to go back to AJC next week. I intend to eat my favourite grilled fish then. It's very nice, although the tartar sauce was always diluted. I used to eat it almost every time after P.E.

Mood has not been very good because of a few happenings. Felt a bit lost, angry, and upset because I don't quite know how to react to certain happenings. Also, don't quite know whom I can really consult when I met those happenings. Ahh, sickening feeling.

Spent the morning with my mum, spent some money, prayed for my family and friends, bought a new cardigan, had a meal with Sharon, Julia and Weishang just now, forgot to bring my camera (so not me), brought along some chocolates from Belgium, demonstrated the devastating effects of an earthquake (really sorry about the collapsed Mango Iceberg), stepped on Julia (sorry about that too), saw the purplish decorations in Marina Square, felt cold and tired.

Jane has just left Singapore around one hour ago. Have a safe and enjoyable trip, my dear.

Things aren't just as simple as before.

I am tired. Good night.

Out with Sharon, Weishang and Julia.

We went to a place where Sharon used to study for her examinations. I ordered mushroom (I got a strong craving for mushrooms recently) baked rice and whined at the canned mushrooms given. Hey, given the price, I think I deserve some Shitake Mushrooms instead. The cheese won me over (a little) but unless you like canned mushroom a lot, you shouldn't try it. Oh yah, the seats are rather comfortable-feels like the Central Library yellow and red ones that you find next to the shelves.

Julia's iced鸳鸯.

Sharon and Julia's black pepper chicken with spaghetti. I've tried it. It's definitely worth the price. There's even sweet and sour pork chop with spaghetti, but Sharon was not happening enough to try it.Weishang's fried rice. The egg looked so yummy!

Julia finds this special.

芒果冰.

And yep, I have demonstrated the devastating effects of an earthquake there and then with this bowl of ice. -_-

The bowl of ice is only $6.90, which is quite worth it. Recalling our AJ ice, it was about this size, covered with Hershey's Chocolate, surrounded by around 5 watermelon balls and full of red beans below, AND it was sold for only around $2. It was so worth it. However, I think the memories are much more important than the taste and the price of our very own AJ ice. Sigh.

After dinner, we went for window shopping in Marina Square, where Julia looked so cute as she asked for permission to go into shops, and Sharon claimed that she's the leader while we're the followers. She was so engrossed that she did not notice us still hanging around in a shop when she's already out! Highly-energetic Julia.The Christmas decorations should be removed and replaced with Chinese New Year decorations very soon! Hmm, there might be a long holiday coming soon during that period of time. I will look forward to that.This coming semester is probably my last semester. I must work hard all the way because I will be taking a lot of my major modules due to my earlier hesitation in deciding my major. However, I am glad that I've tried out modules from other majors. If I've not done that, I might not like Social Work as much as I like it right now. Will talk more about modules after the CORS period.

Meanwhile, have fun before school starts!

Taken for granted?

I hope it's not true.

Some people say, "don't care about them lah." But like what mum said, it's easy to say this but difficult to carry this out. Furthermore, I am a highly emotional creature. Any small action of others can affect me a lot.

I am quite sick of the excuses that people come up with, because I myself, don't come up with stupid excuses and thus, am unable to accept people who come up with excuses. As time passes by, I cannot even accept the reasonable excuses by the usual people who gave stupid excuses. Sad to say that I actually feel this way.

The fire in me is going to be gone soon. (Or is it already gone?) So I do hope some kind being is willing to do something about it. It's okay if there's no such kind being, because this may only seem like a stupid request of mine.

My Undergraduate Days #19 (Release of Examination Results.)

I knew it!

1) My paper for my placement will pull down my placement grade. (What the hell, the main aim of the placement is the learning experience, not the skill of writing a term paper.)

2) My German grade will be horrifying. (And that's why I am not going to take the module proper next semester, i.e. I will take it as a guest.)

3) I scored well for the paper that I spotted questions correctly.

No single C for my Social Work Modules! (Or is it true that the lecturers are lenient?)

Compared to last semester, I think I've put in a little more effort in this semester (though it's not that evident, haha), thus I am expecting my grades to improve by a little. Indeed, my CAP improved by a little bit. Although it's only a little bit, I am already quite happy. I am only unsatisfied with my German grades. It does not reflect the amount of effort that I have put into it.

I've already tried my best. Told you all my German is not good liao. Nobody believed me. Sigh.

菊花台- 周杰伦

The only 周杰伦 song that my mum likes. Haha. I am starting to like this song. Enjoy!

Singdeutsch.

Singlish is prominent in our languages, be it Chinese or English. Even since my german friends and I have learned German (Deutsch), we incorporate Singlish into our Deutsch, thus creating Singdeutsch/ Denglisch.

Sample:

It's so us.

Haha.

Sentimentality.

I have just received an email from Herr Sagemann, and boy am I touched! :')

Liebe Cindy,

wie geht es Dir? Ich hoffe Dir gefällt die deutsche Sprache noch. Das Wichtigste ist die Gesundheit....

Gesegnete Weihnachten und ein gutes neues Jahr
wuenschen Dir Wilfried, Hanna, Anna und Christoph

Also, natuerlich mag ich die deutsch Sprache noch! The days I've spent in Muenster is one of the memorable episodes of my life.

Anyway, I rushed out my letter (in the form of an email) for Family Sagemann within a few minutes because tomorrow's Christmas already! I hope they get my wishes as soon as possible, and I want to finish up the letter soon or else I will probably take my own sweet time again, thus delaying my well wishes.

I have been thinking a lot these days. (how many times have I said this?)

Recently, have been seeing friends for the last time before they go for their foreign exchanges. I know I sound pretty drama if I say this, but I have flashbacks of how I meet them, how we hanged out together in school, the days we shared together, etc.

Being the emotional me, I became a part-time tap.

Just now, I was writing some postcards to some old friends of mine. I realised that we have all drifted apart. In fact, for some of them, very. Sometimes, we are not even able to hold a proper MSN chat. A few lines, and that's about it. It seems disheartening, when you try to talk to an old friend (whom you always chat with in between classes) and all you get is a few lines from each other. I am not blaming everyone. I guess, it's all inevitable.

I used to say things like "We're best friends forever", "We'll meet up once in a while", etc. But in reality, all these promises may not last forever. I grew to realise that slowly.

I really miss the days that we've spent together, the postcards that we passed to each other, the bitching we had in between classes, the fun we made of our teachers and classmates, the hard work we put into our studies, the times when we cry together, the times when we sat down and talked about our dreams...

Especially for people who've provided me support at the most vulnerable periods of my life, I'm really really very thankful for you all to appear in my life. Be it a smile, a pat, a postcard, a reassuring comment, or even by remaining by my side. They've played a part in nurturing and guiding me.

Even if I seldom send you any smses or date you, I want to let you know that I still remember you and I really appreciate what you have done for me.

To all my loved ones and friends, I hereby wish you all a merry Christmas and a very satisfying and happy new year.

Love, Cindy

Lazing around.

Finally, there's no readings to read, no lessons to attend, no tuitions to teach, no gatherings to organise, etc. I am basically lazing around. Shiok! :D

I was browsing blogs and got rather interested in Girls Out Loud, a new programme on Channel 5. Watch this portion of the 2nd episode and pay attention to the first date! I thought the guy won't be successful in giving a goodbye kiss! Wonder if it's because of his scientific and rather romantic sms quote.

(The One), it's been scientifically proven that sugar dissolves in water...

So please don't go out in the rain too much,

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because I can't afford to lose such a sweet person like you...

Awwww......

P/S: Interesting programme. Catch it if you can!

P/P/S: I have finished updating my trip to Taiwan after so many months. My trip to Europe is currently halfway updated because a lot of photos are with my brother. Will tell you all when I am done with it. :)

Meetup with Jane.

Met up with Jane for the last time (should be) before she flies off to Canada for her exchange. Gosh, everyone seems to be leaving. :( Went to Wiener Kaffeehaus at Neil Road, a short walk from the Outram Park MRT station.Tried turkish coffee and I can still feel the aftertaste of it though I drank it hours ago. -_-"

I could almost (still) feel the sandy feeling in my mouth and throat. Very uneasy.Jane said the Turkish Coffee she had was muddy, not sandy. People who are not adventurous should not try. I am geh-kiang-ing to be adventurous. A cheesecake that the boss (I perceive) strongly recommended. The peace sauce is not bad!Very long never see my face liao, right? Don't worry, I am still 黑黑胖胖. (Mum refuses to acknowledge that I am 白白胖胖.) Notice that I am wearing a Germany Tee?

Dear Jane, thanks for your card and little gift (touched me a lot). You must take good care of yourself there okay. :)

Find a tale from this book rather interesting.

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O_o"

Deserts Rain.

Was clearing old files and found this old blog post which Julia showed me during one of our MSN chats. As the version I saved has a weird format (everything lumped together), I paragraphed it for easier reading.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Like the deserts miss the rain.
Everyone has one.
Someone who came into your life at the wrong place and the wrong time,
but who could otherwise have been The One.
Sometimes you wonder where she is.

Ten years have passed since the two months you were with her,
and nine years since your last phone conversation.
Her family moved away around that time,
and the friend through whom you’d met her lost touch with her as well.

Once in a while you Google her name on the Internet, hoping to find her.
There’s always only one search that matches her name, in reference to a quote in a UCLA student paper, but the article isn’t archived and can no longer be accessed.

Ten years have passed but you still remember that last lunch with remarkable clarity.
In that nice French restaurant that now no longer exists.
You remember what wine you drank,
and how she cradled her chin in her palm as she rested her elbow on the table.

Sometimes you wonder where she is.
If she still looks the same, still uses the same perfume.
If she still laughs the same way, still smiles the same way.
You wonder if she’s okay. You wonder if she’s happy.

I step off the train. I'm walking down your street again.
And past your door. But you don't live there any more.
It's years since you've been there. But now you've disappeared.
Somewhere like outer space. You've found some better place.

posted by Tan Kok Seng at 7:58 AM 6 comments

Evil Queen is back.

I've been contemplating to convert my blog into the beta version whereby I can make my blog private or certain posts private. To stop blogging completely will kill me because I am so used to it already.

So read whatever you want before I switch it to Beta version, because I might privatise my blog partially. A few people have stumbled upon my blog by simply blog-hopping and I find it quite horrifying lah. Plus, my supervisor has been telling me that she finds it dangerous for me to blog about my life online. Haha.

Oh yah, I am so engrossed with switching my blog to beta version that I forgot to announce that I AM BACK from my holiday trip to Europe. As I've mentioned to some friends who eagerly asked me on MSN, the travelling satisfaction was present but I've encountered some unpleasant events which really made me think through a lot of stuff. Shall shelve them under "Lessons Learned".

Tried my best to do as much sightseeing as possible, tried my best to try all the possible things I could do over there, tried to be streetsmart, tried to read maps, tried to speak as much german as possible, and tried to be strong.

Sometimes it is only natural that people don't recognise your efforts. (Reminder to self every once in a while.)

As usual, I got paiseh for several times throughout the trip. Can only keep telling myself to jiayou and learn from my stupid mistakes. This is the best I can do because some people just love to put me down with loud voices, hurtful words, or even disgustingly smirky smiles.

To quote Xinli, things happen for a reason. Oh well, recall what happened to you. I would say you deserved it totally. I am evil, but for a reason too.

Off to Europe.

My dear mum just realised that her dear daughter knows how to knit and forced her to knit a blue and white scarf for her.

I said it can't be done within two days and she insisted that I make or else she will not make me my pretty dresses and skirts. What a threat.

Now she's saying "you're so slow". -_-
I am very sleepy recently. I slept at 10 plus last night, didn't manage to wake up early, thus unable to send my dear colleague off. And just now, felt sleepy and slept on the sofa for an hour. Oh perhaps that explains my slow progress in the blue and white scarf.

Anyway, I am leaving for my family holiday trip to Europe. It will be from 11th to 2oth December. Will be travelling with my mum, eldest brother, sister-in-law and their friends. It will be a very packed trip, covering a few countries in Europe namely, GERMANY, Holland, Belgium, France and Switzerland.

I will be revisiting Koeln, so I really pray that I will have free time to climb up the tower of the church (something that I failed to do last year). *pretty please*

It's going to be an expensive trip too. I guess I have to be stingy on my graduation trip if I were to graduate next semester. Planning to either go for the Youth Expedition Programme in Vietnam or go on a free and easy trip to Vietnam. I guess it'll be much cheaper than the Europe trip. *relief*

In the meantime, I am busy packing, settling some personal stuff, updating my MP3 (so that I will have a wide variety of songs to listen to), trying to organise my photos (because more will come!), clearing old stuff, etc.

And of course, meeting up Xinli for the last time before she flies to Germany. Got her this really cute card:

Cute right? (The picture, not Xinli)

Boese Maechen, ich werde dich vermission. Keine Angst, O.K? Bitte aufpasst du dich! :)

I'll be back recharged, with a new blog and loads of new pictures from the trip.

Reminiscing while tidying up.

Flipping through my old old stuff and contemplated to throw some away because I need space for my social work notes.

My JC stuff! :)Brochure for my choir performance.
Erm, yes this is written by me.
Looks so inspiring hor?
Latin songs for competition in Prague.

My aim for grades. I also drew up a list of occupations that I'll go for if I fail my A levels. Didn't see it just now.
Where's point number 4?
Choice of songs for SYF, plus who was going to stand beside me. Interesting piece of paper.
Allocation of topics for revision.
The junk.

I love throwing things away, because it feels like throwing my burden away. :)

咳。

老天是在刺探我的耐性吗？

在这短短的半年里，我听到了许多不该括不想听到的东西， 看见了许多不该括不想看到的事。搞什么啊！

你的一句话括举动就能让我看清你的为人。我并没有逼你做你不想做的事，你也没有必要做你所谓的 “应该做” 的事。你会做某件事，是因为你觉得你应该做，而不是你想要做。那你又何苦浪费时间在一些你根本不想做的事呢？

那两个字虽然是无意的， 但是却让我看出你的真心。

真是闷。

Journal of a budding social worker #1

Haha, got the phrase "budding social worker" from Weiping, who always try to act cheem.

Today, I got to see the kids who are supposed to be very cute (my dear colleague cannot help but emphasize how cute they are to me last night). I was actually not surprised about their conduct. I think it's the training I got from school groupwork. More interested in the group dynamics and their behaviour.

It's been such a long time since I speak to kids. So when I started to speak to them, I stuttered! I just can't seem to find the right words to say. Need more practice man. Who say kids can't make us learn something from them?

At first, the kids were very defensive and refused to be in small group led by me. (They claimed that they don't know me.) But slowly they gave in and sort of accepted me. My colleague spoke to them, saying that this is the only time that I can be there because I just finished my examinations and I am going off for holidays. And the reason why I was there, was to see and get to know them. La di da.

After that speech (when I was away and explored the toys outside), they were pretty cooperative. And then came my stuttering. Why I always stutter when I gan jiong and why I always gan jiong during groupwork? Haha, so useless leh.

Updated:
(extracted from my colleague's blog)

On Thursday, the young lil gal came by and I passed her half of my group for discussion. For the little that I saw or observed, I thought she did well and seems relaxed and having fun with the group (VS last time, first session or so look bit constipated sometimes, hoho...)... I was wondering if not having the content to worry about could help lil gal feel more at ease about being herself with the kids or something...To my surprise, she mentioned in her blog that she stuttered (*tah-too-tah-too*) cos she felt gan jiong woh! Aiyo...

(and she gam gam cham-ed.. teeheehee..)

Letting go of my own worries about myself can be real hard at first. To fool my limited brain, I will just promise my brain that I will definitely worry about myself later. I wonder when the two gals will start letting go...

But i think my anxiety stems from the fact that I know what I do or say will affect the kids in one way or another. But this is definitely something that I will think about. Slowly. Because my brain is a lazy bummy.

A kid in my batch asked me why I was back. "Because I miss you all lor."

A very very mushy line and yet, it reflected completely how I felt. I really miss them a lot. I miss my colleagues too. (I can imagine someone smiling from ear to ear and saying OF COURSE aloud while reading this post.) The satisfaction I gain from work is never explainable by simple words.

I feel happy to see them, happy to learn together with them. It's always an art to interact with them. That is why I admire my colleagues a lot and I am never stingy at encouraging and giving them my utmost support.

Seeing my colleagues putting in their best effort and seeing the kids appreciating and growing from their experience in groupwork always bring to me smiles and continuous thinking processes. Small little actions from the kids can already touch me so much and make me happy the whole day or even forever.

It's not a matter of money. It's a matter of satisfaction.

It's not just a job. It's a journey.

I am not going to give up easily.

Good news: A kid is going to Vietnam for some youth programme with my colleague! Cool! :)

Undeniably.

Random #10

Upon watching 冲上云霄, Weiping said that the rich boy is more cute! *frown*

The "rich boy" is the second from the right. But I still think Isaac (first from the left) is more handsome leh. My girlfriends will know why I said that. They are going to tease me continuously if I say the reason again!

I want to thank Kelly for explaining the structure of SSD graphs to me.

I bought snacks. :)

I learned how to ride a motorbike. (I am kidding.)
Picture was taken ages ago when I met Eileen Shen in school and the helmet was already sitting happily on the bench.

Aren't they simply adorable?!
Birthday cake I bought for my mum.The centre was destroyed by the poking of candles. It is cheap, but not that delicious. But at least it made my mum happy.

And I bought something for her, wrapped it up with layers and layers of newspaper. She had fun opening it up. Hahaha~ There's one more present that I intend to give her. Let's hope that I have time to get it in the weekends.

I wore killer shoes on the day I went for Goethe Institute Openhouse.

Geokwei said I 要美不要命. Haha.
This is Orange. I love to make fun of her. Afterall, don't forget I am the youngest in my family and thus, is always the victim of all teasings. That explains why I love to tease and bully people.

I had a chat with my colleague and I regretted not saving the dialogue. I cried as I thought of the support I received over the last few months with regards to social work. It is really heartwarming to have people whom I can share my passion with.

I feel like lazing around.

My Undergraduate Days #18 (Preparation for SW3101 Examinations.)

WHY IS THE SW3101 TEXTBOOK SO FAT!? One chapter is like around 30 pages long?! Not to mention, it is really wordy and has almost no pictures (huh, so far I've only seen 2)?

I am not going to give it priority anymore. I am going to read my lecture notes first. *frown*

31 more hours of slogging and I am free!!! ROAR!

New player on your right.

Yay! Finally got to upload some music into this newfound player (I found in a blog I frequent) to share with all. By letting music play in the background is rather irritating for some and noisy for others.

Let me tell you more about these songs.

1) The Moment
Guess why I like this song even though I am not an avid fan of Stefanie Sun.

2) Breathe
Kapo-ed this song from a blog which I frequent. The blogger used this player and I thought it's not too bad, so I decided to put this player in my blog too. In a way, readers can choose the songs they want to listen to, and can also have an idea of the type of songs I like.

3) Der Sommer
My favourite song from my dear Tom Albrecht's latest album. I am not quite sure why I like it so much. Maybe it sounds very "relaxed". The sound quality is not that good because I got it via voice-recording. Don't ask me why.

4) 兄妹
I guess I don't have to explain why I uploaded this song.

5) Everything
Chanced upon this song as I was browsing Youtube for Barfuss. The lyrics are actually quite touching (which love song does not have touching lyrics). Erm, would be nice if you want to sing this to your partner. Haha. I thought the tune is quite simple, which brings out the only simple meaning of the song- you are everything to me.

6) Cindy
Yeah, it's my name. I chanced upon this song when I was trying to find other choral songs. The lyrics are pretty hilarious. Do listen carefully for the first few lines. Haha.

7) Each Time
It's a long-time-ago song. To be exact, it's my favourite pop songs when I was still in secondary school. I miss it a lot and tried very hard to find it online a few months back and ta-daa! :)

8) Symphonie
Yep, this is the song on Xinli's blog if anyone of you all frequent her blog. Naturally I got it from her. It sounds pretty nice. My favourite german song sang by a female.

9) Elva is back
Elva is one of my favourite female chinese singer. I love her deep and sexy voice. This is her latest song I managed to find. Pretty groovy.

10) Planetarium
Theme song of japanese version of Hana Yori Dango.

11) Unknown
A nice song from Full House OST .

12) Fly Away
A very heartwarming song by Corinne May.

13) From the Heart
One of my favourite love songs all the way since secondary school! Theme song of a movie. Anyone?

Entertainment in the midst of examinations-Goethe Institute Open House+ BARFUSS!

Dropped by Goethe Institute with Geokwei because they are having an open house and most importantly, they are screening Barfuss! I had great laughs and of course, a good break from my examination preparation. I didn't take a lot of pictures. Attended a very basic german class where students go "Was ist das?" and are just exposed to Akkusativ. I really miss german lessons. I kapo-ed a lot of postcards and two german magazines, weil ich von Singapur bin. Haha~ The very resourceful library! Loads of interesting german storybooks, videos, etc.


Managed to read the whole set of newspaper. Like real.
Tired. Got to rest and mug like hell till Wednesday morning. Wish me luck.

Spoilers ahead.Vielleicht zur die Toilette.A 19 year old girl Leila, who has been staying in a mental hospital since young, attempted to commit suicide and leave this world. This man, Nick lost his girlfriend and his job as well. Desperately found a job, that is being a Putztmann (cleaner) in the mental hospital."It is always advisable to sit down when you do your business or else we'll have trouble cleaning up." (loosely translated)Nick found Leila trying to hang herself in the toilet and managed to save her in time. As Nick was working, he left his cleaning trolley unattended and a mental patient gulped down half a bottle of detergent. O_o And he was fired thereafter. He left the hospital without knowing that Leila followed him all the way back home.

"Ich moechte bei Ihr bleiben."

He then allowed her to follow him. Even to the toilet.

They took a bus, took a train, danced and slept together.And dodged the trainfare too. Schwarzfahrer. Haa, I managed to catch that word in the movie!

She got to learn a lot of things from Nick, even simple things like the bus conductor's job- that is to punch holes in bus tickets. When she learned that Nick's girlfriend left him, she promised him she will not leave him.

"Ich werde dich nicht verlassen.""The moon has switched on his light."

She walked past a red-light district and was asked to stop by a man. The man wanted a blowjob in his car. She agreed and went, "HOOOO" while the man was stunned. Haha~

Nick was asked to attend his stuckup brother's wedding dinner. He was unwilling to go but Leila persuaded him to go because it is not good to break a promise. (He has already promised to go.)

"Du hast gewonnen."

"Yay! *jump* Was habe ich gewonnen?"

"Who is Heinreich?"

"He is someone with a broomstick in his ass." (I am not so sure with this but loosely translated, it means a pain in the ass. Heinreich is his step-father.)

"That poor thing."

They tried selling off the car which (they "stole" from the guy who wanted a blowjob) encountered an accident with a chicken. He got a beating from the two fat guys who own the chicken.This woman, who was very attracted to him, ended up being locked up in a closet by him.

The short time (three days) that they have spent together was the happiest time of their lives.

Wallpapers from here.

Watch these videoclips and perhaps you'll understand what I am trying to say. :)

Wie weit gehst du, wenn du verliebt bist und nur ein Ziel hast, fuer immer bei ihm zu bleiben?
How far will you go when you are in love and have only one aim, that is to stay with him forever?

Despite the spoilers, I guarantee that you'll still enjoy the movie. (Note that I seldom watch movies.) Catch it if you have the chance! :D