SW pals :)

Good Friday with them. Really good. :)

The smallest things.

Sometimes I share the smallest or most mundane thoughts and feelings with you guys, because I treat you guys as good friends, and I trust that I won't be judged no matter what I say or do. It's not that I've nothing better to do or worry about. I've got tonnes of things to do, just like anybody else.

Having to think through before I talk is something I do in my professional work, but perhaps in personal life, I need to beef up that aspect as well. But I just wonder if being friends do include the need of packaging words or behaviour in a certain way. Is that still being genuine? I know we don't hurt our friends with insensitive remarks, but is there a need to dismiss a random thought just because you have a deeper or more meaningful thought than I did?

I suck at waffle-lizing myself, but I will try it. Waffles with icecream. Yums! :)

Carry on (Cover by Madilyn Bailey & friends)

Wonderful covers that I enjoy as I work... some of them are moving, some are energy-giving, others just accompany me through my day! :)

Madilyn Bailey's Cover- Stay

Great companion as I type my Counselling Position Paper II. This week is gonna be another mad rush. I will survive..........

Relaxing Saturday Evening... :)

I know how it feels...

You know, I know how it feels like to not feel belonged. It's a scary feeling.

You are in the clique. You are in the Whatsapp Group. You are included for social gatherings. But most of the time, you don't feel that your presence made a difference.

You feel that everyone else is concerned about each other except you. Yes, there are rare moments when you feel cared for, but they are so rare that the lonely moments are more overpowering. And that's a lonely feeling to feel.

You need to still conform to social norms, pretend that you are not affected, pretend that you are okay when you are lonely, because alternative behaviour will push them more apart from yourself. And the last thing you want to feel is to feel more alone.

They don't really understand you, and they don't affirm your words and thoughts as well. They just don't know what to do with you. They leave you alone. Makes you wonder if you are really so not well-liked. "Is there something wrong with me?"

But you still try your very best to appreciate those nurturing and heartwarming moments that you have with them, hoping that all these can help yourself feel okay about the relationships. But you know things will never be the same again. You try to keep the relationships alive by putting your heart and soul into it, but somehow you don't feel they reciprocate at the same level as you.

Everyone yearns to feel belonged. Everyone yearns to be cared for. It is the time when you allow one in your life to doubt your genuine care and concern that stabs one right in the heart and lose faith altogether. In you and in oneself.

Counting my blessings, daily.