Bread and butter #254 (The best chill-out buddies!)

This is my definition of a good chill-out session. No need for expensive drinks, no need for music, no need for a lavish venue... but just fun and quality time with one another.Thanks guys for the great time! This includes the two men, of course. :)

Bread and butter #253 (In search of.)

I look everywhere to find... I try so hard, fall down so many times, get upset so many times, put in so much effort, get so stressed... but I still can't find.

Where can I find it? How long will I take to find it? How high do I have to search? What must I do to help myself to find it? Can anyone help me find it?

You know what? One fine day I might just end up giving up, because maybe I just don't have it, I just can't find it... I just won't have it lor.

.
.
.

Alright, I need to chill and try not to wallow in self-pity.

Let's put the stupid negative feeling into the lunch box, and move on first.

Because I'm not in the correct mood to handle this.

.
.
.

"it comes with experience..but do what u really like to do, persevere"

Thanks girl.

We shall see... if what you said is true.

Bread and butter #252 (Second child.)

I wish for a second child.

But I know, my doctor will reject my idea, because I haven't prove that I'm a good and capable mum... yet.

I gotta prove myself!

Bread and butter #251 (NYAA Dragon Boat!)

I enjoyed myself very very much!

I seriously think that dragon boat is a very good team-bonding activity because I felt a strong sense of adrenaline rush when I was rowing together with my team mates on the same boat. I was pleasantly surprised that, our boat moved much faster when we were in a friendly match against the other team. Everyone put in their best effort- everyone tried to row at the same beat, with all their strength. Every team mate is important. Upon victory, there was so much satisfaction felt.
A pity that the maximum number of persons on a boat is 20- if not, I may consider getting my geen nas from a class to go for it, if a team-bonding activity were to be required.
Despite the aches that I'm feeling now, I still feel very excited when I recall my experience yesterday afternoon. Plain shiokness woh. :P

Bread and butter #250 (Table Tennis!)

Ahhhh, I miss playing table tennis with the folks... was so much fun playing with them today! Benjamin, Xinyan and Bessey (who wore a dress)! When will we be playing frisbee or badminton???

P/S: I wanna play more sports, and be more regular at exercising!

Bread and butter #249 (My dear boys.)

I finally met up with si geen na today, after much insistence, hoho! Realised that he wants to study, but somehow lost his motivation... I'm offering whatever assistance I can offer- now it's up to him to decide liao. He's got potential... he just need to persevere and push a little harder!

*

Lovable boy told me he's interested to join the soccer team. I am so surprised lah. Am secretly happy too, because he's linking himself back to us. I can go prepare pom poms and be his exclusive cheerleader! Can't wait to see him in the field. ;)

Bread and butter #248 (Random updates.)

Sports day resumed recently. And right after our table tennis session, we ate up Bessey's biscuits, hohoho. Sometimes, some people just deserves to be kicked. :P

See, I so thoughtful... where to find someone to pack logistics bag a few days before groupwork?!
And lastly, a recent attempt at art and craft- a card for Germaine. This is the homework instructed by laoban.

Time just flew by, week by week. And, I have not started all my groupwork yet?!

P/S: Malay lessons will commence very very soon! Thank you Xinyan for coordinating! :)

Bread and butter #247 (I'm superman- 我是超人!)

Today's schedule is as follows:

9.00-10.45 Check emails, print stuffs, help to prepare logistics for groupwork
10.45-11.05 Travel to school and set up for groupwork
11.05-12.25 Woodies Groupwork
12.25-12.45 Mandarin Orange fetched me from school #1 and sent me to school #2
12.45-1.45 Lovables Groupwork (as lead worker)
1.45-2.30 Talk to the girls
2.30-4.00 Lunch cum debrief for Lovables Groupwork
4.00-5.00 Relieved to be in office, and that my session was cancelled. If not, I'll be in session during this hour.
5.00-6.00 Debrief for Woodies Groupwork

All these proceeded despite having inadequate sleep on Sunday night, as a result of unofficial OT-ing at home. I was reading up, and thinking hard for a few groupwork and programmes at one go. Power hor?

Whatever.

Don't always expect me to give in to you, just because you're older.
There's no such logic.

If you treat me with respect, I'll treat you with respect too.
This is only fair.

Heck the traditions- I've got my self to protect.

Bread and butter #246 (Valentine's fun.)

It was KTV and Mr Curry with Jingyan and Meizhen...Proceeded by midnight date with Chris, Tremandy and Benjamin...

Poor Chris only managed to eat dinner at midnight! :(

The chocolates with the oh-so-familiar hearts. Haha. :P

Bread and butter #245 (Goodbye, my child.)

My child has been returned to his natural mother.

I'm gonna miss him and the memories we had together, but I know he is definitely in good hands... and it's the best option for him.

Yummy date with Jempok2 and Shany.

Our yummy Japanese food, which is not too expensive! :D

After dinner, we had desserts... Felt so bloated after that. And of course, some photo-taking.My dearest Shany and ever-bubbly Jempok2.
Had a great time catching up (and gossiping) with the girls!

I miss PE lessons! :(

Magma with German Girls.

Important lesson learned: Not to order more than one pork knuckle at one go.

Because three pork knuckles on a plate looks super scary, although they are of different flavours.The aftermath... Lots of bones... as well as five girls who got pretty sick of meat. :SJane and her handsome priests calender all the way from Italy. ;)

Next stop: Lunch at the one in the east.

The Persecuter speaks.

Everything happens for a reason.

If it doesn't seem so now, then go think about it.

Don't keep asking why certain things are happening, or don't try to assume when you don't know a thing at all.

You don't know how it feels.

You never will.

Bread and butter #244 (The ride home.)

Stayed back in office last night, because I had the mood to do a little brainstorming for my programme, and of course, a bit of reflections (see earlier entry below) too. SM came back to clear work, so we left office together.

Along the way, we tried to catch up with each other's work progress. And as usual, there's more sharing on my side... because he will usually have questions for me. I'm not complaining. In fact, I appreciate the concern very much.

He's really very smart lah- can read my mind so well. Whatever I say, whatever I do... even when I'm silent, I could sense that he knows what's on my mind. Even though I may have blogged about certain concerns, it takes a lot of effort and understanding to uncode my cryptic entries, haha. (I know you may read my blog... don't yaya papaya hor...! :P)

Anyway, for service gaps, 要想到了才有用, and for being ''good at thinking'', 要想有建设性的东西才有用!

I'm not very sure how I will progress, but it's always good to know that someone is always on the lookout.

Bread and butter #243 (The bloody shirt.)

Cher! That day hor, I saw you in the MRT!

Oh! Then you never come say hi??

Aiya, I coming out of the MRT, and you going in, how to say hi?

Orh...

I remember that day you're in this bloody shirt! -points at my corporate tee-

Bloody??? WHERE GOT? I where got injured?

. . . . . .

(hahahahahaha)

Bread and butter #242 (Lovables Session 1)

Today's session was okay on the whole. Didn't exactly do a good job but at least I tried my best (thanks, EL). With the support of my Miracle Team, I survived. Of course, I think I can do better than this lor. I've pull up my socks. Now I need to pull them higher!

Some reflections that will help in my pulling-socks process:

♣ Yao zuo jiu yao zuo dao zui hao- I must be more INSISTENT in norming them (rules included). Must drill on the rules. At least for the first half of the year.

♣ Here and now- I must point out and process positive behavior there and then. If not they will be neglected and forgotten. Late processing may cause the loss of the possible impact of immediate affirmation. Same goes to negative behaviour. Must du jue and provide positive options.

♣ Tapping on group dynamics- tap on supporters, affirm and encourage them to positively influence others.

♣ Always end on a positive note- so that students have a positive experience. Affirm them! Or, even better, allow and encourage them to affirm one another, or apologize if need be.

♣ Be involved, when need be. At certain times, it's good to be on the same level with the students.

♣ Be more directive, when need be.

♣ Better time management needed!

*

Met our Miracles today before we left school. The boys are now in long pants- grow up liao le woh! (Oh well, at least they are supposed to. :P) Really glad to meet them! Feel that they have changed a bit. Hopefully, they are positive changes.

With the exit of my Terrors, I feel a sudden sense of emptiness within me, because I can NO LONGER see them in school!!! Sobs. I miss them so much. Hope the si geen nas will strive to try... at least try, and don't give up.

Bread and butter #241 (Why CACTUS?)

A cactus is strong!

A cactus is evergreen!

A cactus can ''bloom''! Cactus flowers are really beautiful!

A cactus needs a lot of ventilation and space! So, give all the space that it needs!

A cactus can adapt very well- its leaves are reduced into thorns to reduce the loss of water!

A cactus can survive in the deserts! In other words, it has high tolerance and perseverance levels! It is resilient!

I can be a cactus.

So can all of you, my dear children! :)

Bread and butter #240 (Commencement of new challenges!)

Went marketing with mum and updated her about the new challenges at work. Feels good when she's willing to listen. As usual, I kept the content short and sweet because she has a short attention span, like our geen nas, haha.

Lovables groupwork is going to kickstart tomorrow afternoon...

...building resilience...

And, Cactus is commencing this coming Friday. Wish me luck. ;)

This cruel world #2 (The exits.)

Thanks, KF...

*

And thanks, WC...

slap u lah
u trying to provoke me right.
lol no
trying to cheer u up wor
u let out ur anger liao then u will feel better
in the first place, im not down lah!
then y u say the world cruel
haha im not angry lah
jus upset..
but im alright now le..
ok then
i shall ignore u
and go watch soccer liao
the world is just awesome ok
boom bi ya da boom bi ya da boom bi ya da

-_____-

This cruel world #1

I'm stuck in this confined little dark world...

Bread and butter #239 (Spongy me and my inspiring toilet trip.)

Hate to admit this, but I was in a miserable mood from morning till about late afternoon- couldn't really finish work the way I wanted to. 5 minutes before I met BT to discuss about our Lovables, I went to the toilet and started thinking about things that I need to think about:

♣ ideas for my primary school groupwork
♣ something that I wanted to raise during my discussion, which I conveniently forgot -_-
♣ a metaphor which is empowering for myself, so that I can snap out of my mini depression

I didn't think of brilliant ideas in the toilet of course (can't be that fast), but I thought of how I might be able to link my programme to my primary school groupwork. I recalled what I wanted to tell BT, and also thought of a metaphor to describe myself and some reasons why I chose it.

Looks like my toilet break is pretty efficient eh?

Thanks BT for offering a listening ear, and thanks JO for the short chat that we had on our way to lunch. Sometimes, all I need is just a comforting pat or simply a willing ear (may not be even listening) to make my day better. Afterall, I don't whine for no reason, and I don't get upset for no reason.

I'm going to strive to be a sponge- even though easily squashed, I'll always be able to make a comeback (sponge will go back to its original shape somehow). I'll absorb both positive or negative feedback-perhaps squeeze out the negative ones because they'll do me more harm than benefit. I'll absorb as much knowledge as I can, and I'll try to drain out the wrong information. I'll absorb all the positive energy, and drain out the negative. I can choose what I want to retain, and what I want to let go. I have potential, and I have control!

I must get back into shape. Jiayou, Cindy Koh! 你行的!

Bread and butter #238 (Can I?)

I Can
Copyright 2001 Tom Gardner

If you want to count to zillion on a pogo stick
then start today and say I CAN
You can have as many friends as you can pick
if you find a way and say I CAN

If you want to build a monster in the snow
just get your gloves and say I CAN
If you want to learn everything there is to know
read every day and say I CAN

Half the job is seeing in your mind,
the other half is believing in your heart
If you really really want to do anything
just find a way and say I CAN

If you want to blow a bubble as big as a tree
imagine that and say I CAN
If you want to be a star on MTV
Just copy them and say I CAN

You can talk to a rabbit or a bird or a snake
now just pretend and say I CAN
You can ride down a river of a chocolate shake
if your imagination says I CAN

If you want to catch a fish with an ice cream scoop
it might look silly but say I CAN
You can write your name in alphabet soup
just open a can and say I CAN

If you want to take your family on a trip to space
just build a ship and say I CAN
You can live your life with a smiling face
Just move your face and say I CAN

*

Been down ever since last night, not sure why... the fact about me not conceiving and / or not being able to conceive just kept bugging me. I know I can try to see things from a different perspective. I know I can! In fact, when I talked about this with DK, she said something which I totally did not think of. I'm so thankful to be able to hear different perspectives from her, as well as WP and SO last night.

Apparently, sleeping over your personal issues is not a very useful tactic for me. This morning, I'm still plagued with the same old thinking. -_- To the point that I know I need to download to somewhere. So I brought along my diary and my Social Work diary with me, just in case I need to write and I have no where to write.

Talking to GT and SA helped, to a certain extent. SA is able to cheer me up and bring me new perspectives. By throwing a peanut shell at me actually helped a little. And GT will be able to understand why I think in a certain way, because she's a melancholic herself. Whenever SA introduces ideas which are foreign to me, GT will come in and be my spokesperson.

Whatever the case, I'm a little lost now... where's my significance... ?

Long Time No See!

It's been one and a half month since we last met up! And I missed them!!!

Always manage to take silly pictures with these two girls around, hahahahaha!!!
My hair is longer than yours!
So shut up, Foo Wei Ping.

Not very flattering, these group photos, but I like them. :) I'm looking forward to our retreat this year!Thank you for the support all along... We'll thrive and blossom! Jiayou, girls!

Deaths.

This morning, my mum had plans to visit our old neighbour. We didn't get to visit her last year. She called the family up, and realised that she has passed away.

I wasn't exceptionally sad- but was a little startled, felt as if I lost something.

But I think my mum was even more affected...

In the afternoon, my mum decided to call up her old friend to catch up and realised that she passed away too. Her friend is younger than her.

In the evening she said, "You have to learn to wash your own clothes next time... you can't possibly ask me to come back to wash clothes for you hor!" Well, she started telling me such things ever since she turned 50, I think.

And up till today, the dream that I had in 2006 is still scary to recall...

I can't imagine, and I'm lost for words.

Guy friends.

I know this is very random but- I realise, my guy friends usually come from groups, and the majority of them come in twos, and interestingly enough, all of them are usually in the spotlight- they are either teased or abused in the group.

Firstly, it's Seng Meng and Benjamin. Then, it's Chichang and Alvin. And now, Lin Xu and Weichuan.

Isn't this interesting? Hahahahaha. :P

*

I shall feature the following super hilarious cum gay emails sent between the Beauties and the Beasts over the past few days:

YF: ... how's the rest?! btw.. xl cut her hair short!!! haa..

CK: we will set a date after 8 Feb then since CC also not in S'pore.. yea i have been reading her blog, so I know that she cut her hair, haha. looks refreshing ah... :)

EL: Haha yes i saw the short hair too.... I'll be good any wkday!

CC: Hey I've cut my hair short too! Doesn't it look refreshing too? lol

EL: CC, your email consists of nothing constructive.

CK: -totally ignoring Chichang- ... ... ...

CC: Ah...so your emails are all very constructive la..... And pls no buffet? I'm having major buffet phobia now after the CNY holidays.And Alvin pls come? Else I will be very lonely .... =(

CK: wahlao eh. super gay email. haha... poor chichang sounds so lonely, left-out, and abused... awww... alvin come save your lover!

AL: Hey guys...sorry...havent had time to read the mails cause totally totally no mood to work after a long break..didnt know there were sooooo many interesting replies to read..u nearly got me there EL..when u said Brazilian was soooo exotic..i was like..hmm...kinda kinky ah this gal..hahahahaha..and rather personal to share online with soooo many people right??o well..so u were talking about FOOD after reading the next reply..hahahahaha...i guess this will be brushed off as another "unconstructive" mail again..haha..(hi-five CC..i thought the "you cut your hair too?" reply was rather good..haha)

Haha, it's been a few months since we last catch up, and interestingly, I miss them. :)