Loving You!!

My favourite Kdrama during JC days!! I watched it every week at 11pm without fail even when A levels were near. Ahhh, I miss those lonely nights watching Kdrama by myself. I think it's madness to enjoy loneliness but when I spend time alone, it feels like a therapeutic experience. I like hiding in my room, eating junk food and watching drama at the same time. :X

Anyway, that was when I started to like Park Yong Har! :D

Oh yes, that's him. I feel like I am going back in time.

Ich bin Coffee Bean!

Hello! My name is Coffee Bean! Cindy bought me yesterday from the tigam machine in Cdans, Laser Quest! Teeheehee~ She loves me a lot because I am brown in colour which reminds her of her daily essential- coffee and because I have a lovely smile!=) I am going to help her blog whenever she's tired from work.

Yesterday, she had a lot of fun playing Laser Quest and she actually moved around so much that her legs and thighs are in pain now! She ought to do some warmups! But nevermind, I'll remind her the next time before she does any physical activities!

Meanwhile, I must stress that I have a mesmerising smile. Cindy's been smiling at me non-stop since yesterday. Woo-hoo! Such a great feeling to have so much attention. Teeheehee! I am going off to show her more of my mesmerising smile. Tata~

Today: Loads of Highlights! :D

Basically today I am on a once-in-a-blue-moon high. Hehe.

Firstly, in the morning, we had a birthday celebration specially for Tremandy. I could see that Benjamin put in a lot of effort in the making of the film. It was so hilarious and cute. I enjoyed it very much. :D A pity that the video I took was too long and it exceeded 100 Megabytes. Boo.

Secondly, I had my first case session. I thought I would screw it all up but I managed to do it without major hiccups which is good for a first timer. YEAHHHH~!!!

Thirdly, we had Groupwork at Cdans where we played Laser Quest.

My group won! Woo!!! You guys are great and the girls performed well too despite the boys' teasing.

In addition, we, the staff of Clementi SCS played too. My first round was pretty okay with very little running. My second round was damn exciting. As I got to know about the game after the first round, I was scrambling running inside the maze like a mad hamster, screaming from time to time when I bumped into some of the girls and ended up scaring each other. It was so fun and exciting but tiring! My hands were numb from carrying the gun and my legs were numb from running around.

Results: Haha, I am so proud of myself. Usually I lose like siao whenever I play games.

After Laser Quest, we had a mini telematch whereby each teams have to carry some items from Cdans all the way to Xiao Gui Lin.

Items: 11 fishes, 10 eggs, 10 bottles of mineral water, a groundsheet, a big tub, a mini tub and a durian.

I am glad that they took turns to carry the big tub with the fishes and that they actually didn't really complained about the loads that they have to carry.

This session is to teach them responsibility. Don't understand? Ponder about it and ask me. :)

P/S: I've learned new things again today and I've did some exercise too. I am really glad that I am doing all these.

My 2nd 21st Birthday Present from ME!

TA-DAA!

Flowery Neckermann for $28.40.

Compare this to what I originally wanted a year ago.

The very very expensive Papillo. (Taken in a shoe shop in Germany a year back.)

V.S.

The affordable Neckermann.

Neckermann wins! :D

Other than that, I bought myself two tees and trimmed my hair as well. The boss offered to temporarily curl my hair. I originally look cao lao (matured in a negative way). With curls, I look more cao lao!!! Gosh. Curls are definitely not suitable for me.

I also went to Mosburger for dinner.

I've never tried frozen strawberries in Mosburger before. Since we're there, we shall try! Heh.

My mum loves them.

Cindy is a happy girl! :)

Parents and Teens Groupwork.

I am so tired that I am going to leave all my personal comments about this session in my paper diary. Though today my body was aching because of a small accident, I am happy to be involved in this group work. Group work has always been one of my more interested area of exploration in attachment since I did SW2103 when I was in Year 2.

Here's Joleen, preparing herself for the skit. Heh. She's too gentle to be an authoritarian mother!

Rehearsal no. 1.

Rehearsal no. 2.

We always ended up laughing at each other. Tremandy and Benjamin's version was very good and convincing. But, Rachel (daughter) and Joleen (mother) did a good job too.

The session ended happily. I wonder if it'll help elicit some changes in the way parents and teens communicate, but like what was mentioned by my colleague yesterday, a small change is nevertheless still a change. Out of 100 people, if we're able to change 1 person, it's still an impact made and we should be glad. :)

Excursion to Old Changi Hospital and Barracks with youths.

It was a pleasingly calm trip for me. I was surprised at my calmness too because I was the most freaked out one in office about this trip. I want to thank my colleagues...

Thank you Chris, for being so brave and for leading us into the respective places.

Thank you Benjamin, for freaking me out, for sending a Big Daddy sms, for telling us the story of the places, for showing us videos and also for his encouragement and praise.

Thank you Joleen, for standing beside me, for letting me hold her very thin hand when we were at the back of the queue, and for being so calm.

Thank you Rachel, for being rational. Haa. :P

It's very funny to bring them to the believed-to-be-haunted places, a lot of people would thought so. And no, we didn't bring them there to scare them and amazingly, change them into angels. NO.

Here's my explanation to Sharon.

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:
hey! wad r u doing?

Miss Koh -ing says:
hey.. erm.. im planning some stuff.. later gg for excursion to changi'

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:
wow!

Miss Koh -ing says:
haha.those believed to be haunted places..like changi hospital and changi barracks..im a lil scared la.. to be honest

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:
huh? u organised tt kinda tour?

Miss Koh -ing says:
no la.. its been a tradition here.. to bring the studnets thereto teach them respectcos most of them are rowdy, make a lot of noise

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:
wad weird beliefs

Miss Koh -ing says:
beliefs?u mean my agency?

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:
believe tt bringing them to haunted place will tame them

Miss Koh -ing says:
lemme explain.. firstly,we plan to teach them two basic things... first, respect.. in changi.. we can say tt that place belongs to those pows and those other ppl who were there... they will most prob be scared.. and i said they are rowdy right? this can teach them to respect them and not make too much noise there... and no teasing of cos or else they'll be sent back to the bus. secondly. it is to help them cope with fear. fear of ghosts u can say.. usually u fear of sth when u dun really noe them.. like ghosts... paranomia mah.. we got a worksheet whh shows all those facts abt weird sounds in a building bcos of some scientific causes.. tt is to deter their fear.. and then, we'll tell them more abt the history of the place.... with these, they can sort of correct their cognitive distortions and we can help them to overcome their fear by empowering them by giving them knowledge.

somemore, this is a bonus tt we got from last trip.. the previous class tt went was rather disunited.. they helped to sppt each other by holding each other's hands thru out the trip... this shows tt they can learn to sppt each other.. and the fear part, they can apply the skills that we're trying to teach them to any kind of fears.. even if the kids are not really "CHANGED" by the trip, as long as we set their heads thinking about themselves, it's already a gd start... and out of 100 ppl, if we can change 1, that's also considered a change. dun u think so??

Rn: doing attachment (co) now > working hard... says:

wah... have the making of a social worker. hmm.. good for u!

-_-

Joleen's the only one smiling happily into my camera.. duh.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

I sense...

.
.
.

disappointment in the air.

Men from the Social Work field.

From my friend's blog:
why she'd never date a social work guy....that they aren't 'man' enough somehow...wahhaha. about them being kinda effeminate and/or boring. :P

My comment:
i dun think so. i met two very nice guys at work. (both of them are happily attached. one of their gfs is from social work lor). i think social work ppl are MORE sensible in some way.. but they might be poor. when i say males in SW field are not very rich, my colleague said wads impt is the heart..muahahhaa... got me laughing like mad.-cindy


Eh, the two men in my workplace, do you all feel flattered? Hahaha.

On a more serious note, I do think if my man is from the Social Work field, we would be able to understand each other more. Furthermore, we can discuss and evaluate things together. So far, I didn't tell most of my friends what Social Work really is because I find it difficult to explain and sometimes, my friends don't get what I am saying. I can't throw theories as I talk (which I love to because can act as if show how intelligent I am) and I have to put everything in simple terms.

A bad point is that we don't earn a lot so you might lead a difficult life if your husband is a Social Worker. (There are exceptions though. Some Social Workers do earn a lot.)

BUT looking at the limited supply of MANpower in the field, it seems pointless for me to think in such a way.

Watching -ing...

I've conquered yet another movie on youtube, <<-ing>>. :)

I've been dozing off on my table these two days after work when I am back at home. It's been a tiring but fulfilling journey so far. I am glad that I am in SCS.

Today's Highlight: Children's Programme, Recycle and Reuse Workshop.

Almost went mad after i assessed how I performed in the Children's Workshop today. I was pretty pissed off at a volunteer who did not seem very cooperative from the very beginning of the workshop. We were of different wavelengths and worked in different ways. I very wanted to tell him that I am the one in charge there, not him. But I restrained because I didn't want to make a big fuss out of it and because he knows my colleagues.

Anyway, I watched a video at Summer just now and learned a few tactics of dealing with misbehavior of children. Two golden words: Consistent and CALM. I shall follow this guideline diligently.

On a lighter note, PHOTOS.

I am Captain Green! (Notice that the three of us are in green.)

Me, Rachel, Joleen and our letter holder. It's so pretty. Heh.

A closer look. Joleen added the female face and some oranges on the tree!

The container is made by me and the flowers by Rachel.

And everyone said our products are nice. I can consider to be an art teacher liao. Woot.

Two animals invaded my workplace a few weeks ago. Thanks to Benjamin who placed the soft toys there. They definitely cheered me up by smiling non-stop at me even when I frown and groan at work.

War broke out today at work. I was laughing non-stop at my colleagues. They're so cute. :D One was trying to scold me, the other one tried to protect me and then the two of them started fighting. Most notable fact is that Social Workers apply theories in their arguments truthful discussions. (The so-called talking at the same level and thus, one colleague has to use a soccer ball in order to talk at the same level as the other colleague.)

Karen from EPS came over to our side and talked about reproduction of animals. We started to discuss about snails' way of reproduction. Basically I think we got too restless after the workshop.

"Each snail has two sets of sex organs. One with a penis, testes and sperm and the other with ovaries, eggs, an oviduct and a pouch or receptacle for storing sperm of another snail."

That is, snails have both male and female reproduction organs. But i read from somewhere that they won't mate by themselves. They will definitely find some other snail to mate with.

"Snails have an extensive mating ritual which involves circling around,and then riding up to each other. They touch each other with their foot, tentacles and genital organs. This takes usually about an hour, the actual mating can easily last eight hours."

After I read out this part. A colleague said, "Woah, so long ah! They can sustain?" Another colleague said, " Well, that's because their action is slow......"

-_-

Tremandy's birthday is coming. I hope we're involved in the celebration!

**SPECIALLY FOR THE YOUTHS!**

I am glad that my blog is not full of words, or else the youths will just press the X button immediately?

Today I exchanged blog links with some youths. I think its the ON thing to have a blog nowadays. Internet is a good means to get to know them and also to get to see different sides of them. I love world wide web! Hoho.

Firstly, if they ever read my blog, I shall do a very short introduction of me here in this particular entry.

Normally I introduce myself as a "Student Social Worker" in Student Care Service Clementi. I am a university student from NUS (National University of Singapore), in Faculty of Arts and Social Science, majoring Social Work and that is why I am in SCS, doing my attachment. Attachment is just like work but this work of mine is being graded. But of course, I see this work as a learning opportunity and I am very glad to be able to work with a lot of different people (including YOU). The above will explain why you see me in the centre. I will disappear in July, so if anyone who's interested in keeping in contact with me, add me on msn. :)

To a lot of YOU, I might not be very happening, even to the extent of being 老土. But I will try to understand YOU all. I won't give up. I hope YOU all have fun with us and I hope somehow, we will leave footprints in each others' hearts and learn and grow together. Afterall, Social Work is the betterment of the society, of YOU and me.

Love, Miss Koh.

Eee-yerrr... I feel so old after I typed the above chunk.

Sudden low.

Sometimes I really feel that I am very useless. There are just somethings which I can't achieve as much as others. There are just somethings which I can't do as well as others. There are somethings which I can't express as well as others. I am aware and I think I am getting more harsh on myself. More and more harsh. Tears no longer help. This self-demoralising thoughts just ate up my heart bit by bit. It's a painful feeling. When I see people having more passion than my so-called passion, I feel so inferior. I am obviously lousier than a lot of people and yet I have to stay strong and thick-skinned. I have to depend on myself because nobody will care for me as much as I will care for myself. To be independent is getting more and more tiring. Sometimes I just hope that there are walls around for me to lean on, and that there'll always be tissues around me for me to wipe my tears, and that there'll be a place where I can let out all my true emotions without having to care for any consequences.

开始疲倦的步伐会不会带我到更远的地方去呢？

Another drama down! :D

恶魔在身边！

Cindy the drama queen shall go hunt for a new drama to watch.

Another meme to occupy my weekend. :)

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.Don't read the questions before you write, and tag 5 people to do the survey.

1) Mum
2) Kelvin
3) Kaddy
4) Aizhen
5) Grace
6) Yujie
7) Zhumei
8) Jiemin
9) Shiya
10) Yugui
11) Serene
12) Rebecca
13) Ming En
14) Julia
15) Sharon
16) Ellen
17) Ningjia
18) Sharifah
19) Jialing
20) Peiqi

Questions:
1. How did you meet number 14?
Answer: AJC 33/02.

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
Answer: I would not have lived?

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
Answer: Errr... *faint*

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
Answer: I don't think so.

5. Describe no.3.
Answer: Hardworking, has loads of perseverance, stubborn, will always be loved by his sister no matter what.

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
Answer: Err, nope. Sorry. But he's a nice friend.

7. Tell me something about No.7.
Answer: Easy to bully.

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
Answer: She seems to have a very sweet family.

9. What is no.8's favorite?
Answer: Wearing bright coloured clothings and bling-blings.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
Answer: *faints again*

11. What language does 15 speak?
Answer: Superb Chinese, English and perhaps a little *woof woof* language.

12. Who is 9 going out with?
Answer: Good question. I would like to know too.

13. How old is 16 now?
Answer: 21.

14. When was the last time u talked to 13?
Answer: Last night via MSN.

15. Who's 2's favorite singer?
Answer: Jay Chou.

16. Would you date number 4?
Answer: *faints again again*

17. Would you date 7?
Answer: *faints again again again*

18. Is 15 single?
Answer: YES!

19. What's 10's last name?
Answer: I am not sure because I don't really know her that well. I just happened to recall her name because I met her in Zhumei's Birthday Party.

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19?
Answer: Yes, that is, if I become a lesbian.

21. What schools does 3 go to?
Answer: Yuhua Primary, River Valley High, National Junior College, NTU.

22. Where does 6 live?
Answer: Sembawang, Canberra something. Heh.

23. What's your favorite thing about number 5?
Answer: Her ability to understand me without having me to say out everything.

Tag? Anyone.

Self-reflection for attachment 1..

Like what Rachel and Diana said, I feel old and naggy when I go out with the children.

"Come kids, come and gather okay??"

"Okay come XX, come here, good boy ahh.."

"Be careful okay..."

"Can you all line up in twos??"

" Primary One and Primary Two, come follow Miss Cindy!!"

"Okay boys, let's go!"

Saying all these is okay. But saying all these lines for countless times makes me feel naggy and old. Gah.

The children are generally adorable but facing them for long hours is tiring and straining. I have to practically shout whenever I give instructions or even talk to them. Repeating phrases is tiring too. I wonder if parents feel tired when they have to nag at their children. The extent that parents nag could have a direct link to the degree to which they are concern of their children. I realise.

I think it's the lumping of two big activities (BBQ and Animal Resort Tour) in consecutive days which made me felt so damn tired. I was even having a headache.

It is very important to note the strengths of children and tap on their strengths appropriately. I get very touched when some children are actually very observant and sensible. To add on to this point, during the parents and teens groupwork just now, some youths actually tried to identify their parents' headaches about them. One of the headaches is to deal with the attitude of youths. As I noted this idea, I realised that the youths actually sort of understand what their parents are going through but perhaps they might be too young to totally comprehend their parents' method of dealing with them.

I almost teared. I used to be a very GL teenager and I used to come up with very mean words and actions. I totally don't understand my mum. It's only when I start going to university that my mindset starts to mature. My heart starts to ache for my mum whenever I know she sacrificed for us or do something for us. I start to think of the day that I might lose her forever. I start to worry when she doesn't come back home by 10pm. I never thought of such stuff when I was a teenager. Even if we quarrelled, I would be worried that she'll get too angry and thus, affecting her blood pressure. I am not a good daughter. But I will definitely try my best to be a better one.

In time to come, the teenagers will grow up into mature beings and will also start to really love, treasure and understand their families. :)

Children's Excursion to Animal Resort.

We finally visited the Animal Resort at Seletar. I felt so tired running with and after the kids. Here's three of them with the puppies.

We got to see a Woodstock, a very hairy bird. But my impression of a Woodstock has always been like the one in Snoopy cartoon. Yellow, round beak, looks tame and cute. The real Woodstock looks fierce and has a long sharp beak. We were warned to stay away from it.

Anyway, it's a good place to bring kids to. The children obviously enjoyed the trip. :) I feel a sense of achievement.

Let's take a look at some interesting clips I took.

The children feeding the black swan and fishes..

The children feeding the rabbits..

The children feeding the goats and ponies..

The children trying to convince the parrots into talking..

Aging is a natural process after hanging out with the kids. -_-"

Sorry lah......

Usually I don't receive a lot of sms-es so I don't really carry my phone around with me every second. This actually creates a lot of funny problems.

I always get scolded for not hearing my handphone ring. I get very paiseh when my handphone is actually scream when someone tries to call me, thus my handphone usually on silent mode. And I got scolded by my eldest brother for countless times because he couldn't reach me or I didn't see his message because I didn't check my phone from time to time. I think it's some kind of "sickness" to keep checking handphone for messages. I feel irritated with myself when I used to do that and then frown when no one messaged me. That's pretty silly. Anyway, I resolved the problem by keeping my handphone by my side (in pockets) or in my hand whenever I am going to meet my brother. And I don't really message my brother. I just call.

And these few days my mum's already buay song about me not being about to meet her in time for dinner. She was pretty pissed off and she screamed "你要饿死我啊!" in our telephone conversation. 冤枉啊! I DON'T MEAN IT!!

I was having GP Groupwork from 2pm to 6pm. Social Work students will be able to understand that it's a pretty long group work session. Actually I don't really mind the long hours because I am enjoying my work BUT sometimes we have debriefs and so we end late. On that particular day when my mum got pissed off, I ended at around 6.40pm. She called me and screamed at me. I tried to explain that I am working but she doesn't see why I shouldn't be able to know that she called me. My work requires me to move around a lot. Sometimes I don't want to keep looking at my handphone because firstly, I know that not many people will want to find me and secondly, wouldn't it be disturbing and rude if I keep looking at my handphone during work?! So in essence, I don't look at my handphone unless I really have nothing to do or I am having my break.

Therefore, please don't get angry with me if I don't reply or don't take your call.

Gosh.

My mum got angrier today. She forgot that I am not coming back for dinner and bought one packet of rice for me. She insisted that I should remind her daily in the morning. I cannot remind her a day before because she has better things o remember. Hmm, I will make a big signboard with used paper later, with one side saying "有回来吃" and the other side saying "没有回来吃".

I think the rice is a little smelly liao...

Heh.

Good idea huh?