Of people whom I simply can't stand #1

Met someone today who reminded me of how I felt about a year ago, or maybe quite a number of times in my life.

Many times I am left alone. I hate the feeling of being alone- it feels so weird. But I always try to geng ("act tough" in hokkien) and then lun ("bear with it" in hokkien) and it'll be over soon.

Because I don't like to feel lonely, I always try my best not to let my friends feel lonely, that is, if they don't like to feel lonely. Even when it comes to people whom I don't really know, I will try not to let the person feel that he or she is out of place, by talking to him or her, or simply by smiling warmly at him or her.

I cannot understand why some people cannot seem to provide warm smiles. They'll smile widely at you and then just stop smiling completely, within two seconds. This really makes me wonder if they're smiling for the sake of smiling, or are they really sincere in making people feel welcomed.

Then there are some people who seem as if they'll die if they leave their natural groups to mix around with people whom they do not quite know. As if they are going to bite them.

The world will definitely be a better place if we think of how others will feel before we simply act on impulse or do brainless things (no, this is not the event which inspired me to write this post).

I have a peabrain, but at least I try to think for others. So what's with those people. Do they have a brain smaller than a pea?

Negative feedback.

I like feedback, but sadly, I do not enjoy all feedback. This is especially so for the negative ones. I have my stubborn side, so giving me feedback requires some good initial rapport with me and most importantly, good knowledge of what kind of a person I am. Only with that, I can accept your feedback with grace.

Have been receiving similar feedback (what the hell) over the years... And I am very sure that I did my best (and am still doing my best) to improve myself. Even mum and some closer friends notice the difference in me over the years.

My point is, I received some negative feedback about me recently again. And it was from someone whom I've only met once. Hello. I don't know you. You don't know me. We only know each other's names lor. How receptive do you think I will be with regards to your feedback? I am so sorry to say that I am pretty pissed off, because you're not a significant figure in my life, and thus has got no say in my life.

I believe you've got better things to do than to criticise people- like to apply eye serum around your eye area to reduce the visibility of wrinkles?

Bad food.

Had a short meetup with Yujie and Zhumei at a Japanese place. The sashimi was great, but somehow the blissful feeling was not present. Maybe this signifies something. :/

The scallops are nice. Other than that, I think Sakae Sushi is (still) more worth my money.

Anyway, today's real bad. I almost ate a rotten meat bun. I had experiences drinking sour milk, and sour orange juice. My goodness... rotten meat bun... *shivers in fear*

This piece of shit.

I won't give it a damn if you die and go straight to hell, you know. Sometimes I wonder why didn't you break your legs or hands. Come on, how kind do you expect me to be when you're so rude and insensible? Get out of my life.

Wobbly worm.

Today's a terribly hot day. I was being silly by wearing jeans okay, but I wore them for a reason. Terribly hot and sweaty times always tempt me to wear mini-skirts, but I guess some people do not take people who wear mini-skirts seriously. So, it's better to be safe than sorry. Despite all the heat and unhappiness, I was happy to see most people happy with my visit. Was not a wasted trip afterall.

Anyway, met up with Julia and went to disturb Sharon at work. :) Sharon looks really cool when she works. Think would be nice to see other friends at work or let my friends see how I work, but I don't think it's possible. But yes, the main point is, Sharon is cool. (She's the first person who rejects my postcard too. How ungrateful. Sob.)

Nice night scene which Julia insisted to take a photo of.
Sharon's super belated but super adorable mini birthday present. Sharon loves him a lot.And last thing, hopefully a tour group of Julia's harem will be organised soon, hahaha. And I will have the only right to stand beside Julia. The rest shall stand behind me and greet me upon seeing me. (Note: An insider's joke, unless you read Julia's blog religiously.)

Queen's quote of the month: Courting death by wearing court shoes.

Accused for doing nothing.

The previous encounter with a tuition agent reminded me of another incident which happened during my examinations period- which made me even more pissed off.

This agent, Mr ABC has sms-ed me and arranged for a tuition job for me near my house. Since the kid lives near my house, I gladly accepted and was waiting for him to liaise for me. He passed me the kid's mum's number and asked me to negotiate the price myself. So I called and told the mum my offered price and my free time. The mum seemed to be reserved to accept me immediately so I assured her that she can think about it and get back to me again.

Days later, while I was studying very hard for my examinations, I received this sms from Mr ABC...

In case you have negotiated and arranged everything directly and think you have saved on the fees (he means commission fees). That's cheating, and you've no moral authority to teach any children and parents who are party to this are viewed similarly. Fortunately this happeneds very rarely.

I was pretty shocked to receive this sms, because it was a rude sms. And I did not even contact the mum after I last called her because I was busy preparing for my examinations and I have no extra time to spare! So I explained to Mr ABC in a @#$%^ manner because I have no fault at all.

Sorry, there're times when we do get customers who're pest(s). I've stopped serving her 2 months ago but she kept call(ing) me. Sorry Cindy, I wish you all the best in your exams.

Like it's my business. Go get your facts straight before you even do anything!

My full name.

IRRITATING.

This is not the first time I get such a response. I really don't mind explaining, but it's just getting more irritating when one keeps asking and doesn't believe what I say.

Messaging between me and a tuition agent:

Hi can you give me your full name, home telephone number, IC number. Thanks.
Koh Cindy, 6123456, S8512345A.
Your full name please... Thanks.
Koh Cindy is my full name.
Oh no Chinese name?

I don't feel like replying. You have already told me to state my full name, but you choose not to believe what I typed. You think I am so free to play games with you? Freaking idiot.

@$#%&*

HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES MUST I SAY THAT I WANT TO SECURE A JOB BEFORE I GO ON HOLIDAYS? YOU THINK I HAVE A RICH DAD IS IT? THE FACT IS, I DON'T HAVE A RICH DAD, AND THAT IS WHY I DESPERATELY NEED A JOB. I NEED TO PAY THE STUPID FREAKING TUITION FEES ON MY OWN, AND I HAVE GOT A FAMILY TO SUPPORT! I AM NOT SOMEONE WHO SITS AROUND AND GOES FOR MANICURE OR PEDICURE.

Journal of a budding social worker #13 (Being doubted.)

You can doubt my knowledge of theories and skills,
but you can never doubt my belief in the worth and dignity of my clients.


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I am not so task-oriented that I forget about my clients' worth and dignity.