领悟。

终于知道有些人做一些事，是出于责任，不是关心。现实和我想像的完全不一样。是时候了吗?

5 out of 10.

For the very first time in my life,

I. Don't. Feel. Like. Working. Hard.

Birthday Wishlist.

Have never been this buay hiao bai (thick-skinned) before, but I'm not gonna care so much because life is too short and unpredictable, hahaha. If I don't get them as presents, at least this is a reminder for me to buy these stuffs for myself before the end of 2012. Here goes:

1) black / purple sports bra

2) chic black handbag (A4 size, easy to open and close, not too shapeless, not too squarish too)

3) Everlast white canvas shoes (my best friend)

4) Burts Bee's lipgloss (pink/ red)

5) Burts Bee's lipbalm

6) handmade/ handwritten cards

7) angbao (which will lead to sponsorship of contacts lenses or more korean language classes or more kpop dance classes)

Will add on when I think of more. Hahahaha...

Karma.

Suddenly got this urge to do something about that missing piece in my life, especially now that I came to the realisation that I can't control everything in my life.

Wanna try everything, do anything.

As I recap on the significant people who appeared in my life, can't help but feel that there is some ongoing karma on me... I must have been (too) evil to some people, thus things end up to be how they are today. My thought processes must have been (too) extreme, thus things end up to be how they are today.

I'm thinking if there is a possibility to make up for lost time, but at the same time, I feel a bit silly about this whole thing.

Karma, please treat me well... :)

2NE1- I am the best.

Attractively egotistic! Hahaha.



[CL] I am the Best
I am the Best
I am the Best
I am the Best
Th-th-the Best

Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Oh my god

[BOM] Whoever looks at me can see I’m kind of a killer
alright
This body is second to no one
alright

[DARA] You’re following behind me but
I’m only running forward
I jump on top of the table you’re sitting at
I don’t care

[CL] If you touch me you won’t be able to handle it
I’m hot hot hot hot fire
Before I flip something over
Please can someone stop me

[MINJI] I open my closet and
Put on the freshest outfit
The reflection of my face in the mirror
I carefully check it over
Right now it’s 8
I’m supposed to meet up at 8:30
Tonight I set out with bold steps

[CL] I am the Best
I am the Best
I am the Best
I am the Best
Th-th-the Best

[MINJI] Whoever looks at me can see I’m kind of fabulous
alright
Even if you were me, you’d be envious of this body
alright

[BOM] Guys are turning around to look at me
Girls are following me
Being looked down on in the spot
I’m sitting at, every day is tiring

[DARA] Pretending to be an athlete, this snobby
Clumsy Playa
Like you’re a flat tire
I’ll dump you good for people to see

[CL] I refuse to be compared
I’m telling you the truth
If we’re talking about my value, I’m a
Billion dollar baby
People who know a thing or two
They all know it so ask them
Grab anyone and ask them
Who is the best
I am the best
I am the best
I am the best
I am the best

[CL] Who? You are better than me?
No no no no na na na na
Who? You are better than me?
No no no no na na na na
Who? You are better than me?
No no no no na na na na
Who? You are better than me?
No no no no na na na na
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Oh my god

Simple lessons in life...

1) Don't take people for granted.

Whether it's your loved ones or an acquaintance, one shouldn't take anyone else for granted. If you need to thank or apologize, make sure that you really do it... Because each action and word counts, and can make a difference. Even if others may think that you are insincere, you should still do what you ought to do.

2) Don't make things difficult for others.

There might be still a long way to go- whether it is friendship, colleague-ship or whatever-ship. So as long as one can tahan, one should always try not to make things difficult for others. You may have a long and bad day, but that does not mean that others do not have their share of tough times too. Can tahan, just tahan. Cannot tahan, say your piece in a calm manner and quickly drop the matter. Others do not have the obligation to take what we are going to give.

3) Don't make things difficult for YOURSELF.

Others may have done something wrong or weird to you, but don't forget to continue to care for yourself. Instead of engaging in self-destructive actions which will further worsen your mood, you might as well treat yourself better and go ahead to do what you want or need to do. Others don't owe you a living, and you don't owe others a living too.

These are just some simple lessons that I am trying to learn, and I hope that everyone else can learn too. Then again, everyone is unique and may have different values or beliefs on this... But this should be common sense, no?

Well, if others really did wrong and never do what you expect them to do, don't give the matter too much attention or energy... that will make things easier for yourself and you will be doing justice to yourself... :)

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Learning about life.

Realised that some things are not meant to be, people do hurt each other from time to time, nothing is consistent... I am quite tired from all these. I just want to try to fulfill the bare minimum of what is required of me (because I have no extra energy), and coat myself with a lot of self-care. I will do so, for myself as well as the friends who have been patient, supportive and attentive all along.

For whatever that I hate receiving, I will apply it in my casework. No minimization of any genuine thoughts and feelings, because it's really hurtful to have your thoughts and feelings minimized. Facts and reality check can come in, but only at the appropriate timing. Whatever that I hate receiving, I will try not to do it in my casework.

Learning a new skill and learning a new language are perhaps not as painful as learning about life... apply first-aid, put plaster, drink medicine lor. I will survive with my own methods, not what you told me to. I will continue learning.

Hatched!

Yummy brunch, lovely stroll and weather... :)

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屎坑。

第五次踏进屎坑。好臭，好难受。。。:“( 谁来救救我~

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Ravel Miroirs (Nodame Cantabile)

Still captivated. By the classical pieces featured in the drama. Especially this! :)

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Bread and butter #459 (Short and sharp.)

Was all alone in office. Everyone else left. No notice, no message...Did my session, did my formulating of end message and BAM! Done.

Now I'm heading home. Tired. Unmotivated. My care and concern for my cases kept me going... At an unknown level of energy.

Short and sharp. I hope I can apply it to myself too... Self-convincing 有用吗？一个人的 short and sharp 有用吗?

Bread and butter #458 (Accident Report on the Highway.)

Big big bang occurred before I even started on the highway. Perhaps the vroom vroom was just a hallucination. Perhaps I have low-quality fuel and low-grade car body. In any case, I'm not sure what went wrong. Cursing and swearing won't help. Whining and crying won't help. Perhaps nothing will help. Nobody can help. Intensive Care Unit now.

Maybe, maybe, I'm not suitable to drive up the highway...

Something positive, charmed evening :)

My old friends are complaining that my blog posts are not positive enough. So this post is going to be positive! Thank you Isaac for making me laugh so much, and thank you Grace for the ride home and the simple but awakening (I hope) chat. Sweet evening we had! And I'm looking forward to September already! :)

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What is personal growth?

"We didn't manifest on this planet during this time to always struggle and suffer, but a large majority of humans do. Why? This is a question I will do my best to answer, but the simple fact is, there are many systems in place to make sure we humans stay in a perpetual state of fear. When we're constantly in a state of fear, we have no knowledge of our true potential as a spiritual creative being.

Let's bring this knowledge to the forefront, let's drop out of fear, and live the lives that each and every human being on Earth deserves to have. To be loved, happy, free, and express our creative gifts.

Your personal growth journey will come in stages, it's an ongoing process that we must consistently work on everyday. It isn't easy, but anything that's worth doing and has meaning in our lives isn't meant to be easy, and for a good reason.

This journey will take constant discipline, diligence, and above all, patience. But I promise you it will be worth it, all the pain and struggle WILL be worth it. The fate of our species on this planet, depends on us humans taking responsibility for our lives and actions."

http://www.what-is-personal-growth.com/

Enneagram Type 1.

New year, new resolutions.

I wanted to work a bit more on my "type". So I googled "enneagram+type 1+how to improve", and I found:

"1. THE REFORMER Enneagram Type One. Enneagram One ... and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. ..."

It is telling me what exactly my personality entails... =_=

P/S: Alright, I managed to find my personal growth recommendations already... Gogo, Cindy!

Sakuragi- my favourite Slamdunk character

Saw this picture being posted on FB and it brought a smile to my face. I'm always amazed by his optimism, always calling himself tian1 cai2 (the talented one), always working very hard to improve his basketball skills. He's not the best basketball player but he's definitely a passionate and hardworking one. Though sometimes he needs to learn things the hard way, he has always kept his head high.

Now I know why I've always liked him. :)

I wish I can always keep my head high too...

A Thousand Years.

Heartbeats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed that I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Trust.

Trust only becomes important when it has got to do with people I love and respect a lot. (My mother is excluded from this category because she can be highly paranoid for no reason, so it doesn't affect me much already.) I don't really care if people who I dislike, or don't know me enough,don't trust me at all.

If you trust that I can do something, I will really do it. Just to show you that it's worth it to trust me. If you say that you trust me, I will make sure I won't let you down. For me, trust can work wonders.

There's nothing much I can say, except to lament that I feel suspected. Whether small or big, a suspicion is suspicion. Be it verbal or non-verbal, a suspicion is still a suspicion. And it's painful.

Please directly confront me face to face, if you don't know if you should trust me. If I have really done something against my conscience, I will probably look embarrassed and you will probably know that I've done something wrong. If that really happens, I'm sorry. But if I have not done anything wrong, I will clarify straight in your face, and you don't even need to ask me any questions.

I might have overreacted, but this is how I feel. You might disagree with what I said, but at least now you know how important your trust is for me.

Grace & Jun Qiang's Wedding!

During the day.

The guestbook area proudly decorated by the sisters!

My new resolution in every wedding that I attend: try my best to catch the bouquet! No, I'm not intending to get married. I just want a free bouquet of pretty flowers! :)

Very lovely wedding photos...

The sisters. Maid of honor was not around as she was busy with other stuffs.

Us again with maid of honor...'s husband.

The sisters with the couple in cardboard.

And then, the Charmed Ones! So so happy to meet Isaac again after almost 10 years, and on such a special occasion!!

Gonna make more effort to meet up with precious friends like them in 2012! =)

Bread and butter #457 (Really?)

 "There's a long way to go before your story ends. So don't lose your patience because you weren't fast enough. If you go slower, then you can see more along the way. If you ask me who will grow stronger... I think it's the one who took it slow." (Teacher Kang, Dream High, Episode 8)