Journal of a budding social worker #1

Haha, got the phrase "budding social worker" from Weiping, who always try to act cheem.

Today, I got to see the kids who are supposed to be very cute (my dear colleague cannot help but emphasize how cute they are to me last night). I was actually not surprised about their conduct. I think it's the training I got from school groupwork. More interested in the group dynamics and their behaviour.

It's been such a long time since I speak to kids. So when I started to speak to them, I stuttered! I just can't seem to find the right words to say. Need more practice man. Who say kids can't make us learn something from them?

At first, the kids were very defensive and refused to be in small group led by me. (They claimed that they don't know me.) But slowly they gave in and sort of accepted me. My colleague spoke to them, saying that this is the only time that I can be there because I just finished my examinations and I am going off for holidays. And the reason why I was there, was to see and get to know them. La di da.

After that speech (when I was away and explored the toys outside), they were pretty cooperative. And then came my stuttering. Why I always stutter when I gan jiong and why I always gan jiong during groupwork? Haha, so useless leh.

Updated:
(extracted from my colleague's blog)

On Thursday, the young lil gal came by and I passed her half of my group for discussion. For the little that I saw or observed, I thought she did well and seems relaxed and having fun with the group (VS last time, first session or so look bit constipated sometimes, hoho...)... I was wondering if not having the content to worry about could help lil gal feel more at ease about being herself with the kids or something...To my surprise, she mentioned in her blog that she stuttered (*tah-too-tah-too*) cos she felt gan jiong woh! Aiyo...

(and she gam gam cham-ed.. teeheehee..)

Letting go of my own worries about myself can be real hard at first. To fool my limited brain, I will just promise my brain that I will definitely worry about myself later. I wonder when the two gals will start letting go...

But i think my anxiety stems from the fact that I know what I do or say will affect the kids in one way or another. But this is definitely something that I will think about. Slowly. Because my brain is a lazy bummy.

A kid in my batch asked me why I was back. "Because I miss you all lor."

A very very mushy line and yet, it reflected completely how I felt. I really miss them a lot. I miss my colleagues too. (I can imagine someone smiling from ear to ear and saying OF COURSE aloud while reading this post.) The satisfaction I gain from work is never explainable by simple words.

I feel happy to see them, happy to learn together with them. It's always an art to interact with them. That is why I admire my colleagues a lot and I am never stingy at encouraging and giving them my utmost support.

Seeing my colleagues putting in their best effort and seeing the kids appreciating and growing from their experience in groupwork always bring to me smiles and continuous thinking processes. Small little actions from the kids can already touch me so much and make me happy the whole day or even forever.

It's not a matter of money. It's a matter of satisfaction.

It's not just a job. It's a journey.

I am not going to give up easily.

Good news: A kid is going to Vietnam for some youth programme with my colleague! Cool! :)

Undeniably.