Career Crisis.

I've been having this career crisis since I started my undergraduate years. Jane has also been reminding me that I should visit the career guidance thingy provided in NUS. We sort of decided to go together (to support each other) next semester. Meanwhile, I am still struggling to try to sort things out for myself.

For the past few months, I have decided that I can foresee myself working in the Social Work field till I grow old. I think I have repeated the above phrase for many many times to different people already but sorry, I have to repeat it.

But then again, I have to settle financial matters first. I have house loan to pay, study loan to pay, own expenses to pay, etc. Perhaps I can leave my own expenses aside for some months but house loan and study loan can't wait!

By the time I state these pointers out, people would have said "Who ask you to work in VWOs? You can always work in MCYS where you get more money!" or "Don't you have two brothers?"

I understand the above two points very much but sad to say, I would enjoy more hands-on intervention. (Right now, I am still not sure if MCYS Social Workers get to do hands-on stuff. I will try to check out from my colleagues.) And, one of my brother is still schooling. The other is married and has a lot of commitments himself.

So, I thought of being an air-stewardess, earn some *ka-ching* and get to fly all over the world. I've always dream of travelling around the world. People then start to say " Air-stewardess?? Later you become very materialistic one!" or "Huh? You got the standard to be air-stewardess meh?"

Not everyone is materialistic and will become materialistic. As I've stated earlier, my most branded stuff is my Giodano jeans/ Converse tees and bags.

And blah, I know I don't really have that kind of elegant air in me but that's not very comforting ah, thank you. I also start to wonder if I will actually enjoy being an air-stewardess. I just can't be sure.

Anyway, despite all the suan-ings and all, I've decided to go apply for air-stewardess in most probably, SIA. I also told myself that I must have a back-up plan just in case I'm not qualified to become an air-stewardess. But, I've no back-up plan yet.

After my air-stewardess job for around 3 to 4 years, hopefully, I would have earned enough money to buy a proper housing or pay off my loans. By then, I can really settle down to be a Social Worker in a VWO because I would have no financial worries. The only problem I can foresee is the drop in living standards but I think I can do it since I grow up in such an environment.

Overall, the plan I came up with a few months ago is:

Air-stewardess for 3 to 4 years-----> Social Worker till I grow old

Since yesterday, I have been thinking if I should have a change in plans.

My colleague, Tremandy said that if I were to leave the Social Work field for a few years, a lot of things would have changed and I might have difficulty catching up. I have thought of that but I didn't felt that it was so much of a problem. It was only when she pointed out a real life example that I realised the possible danger of me feeling lost if I were to have a few years break from this field.

Today, two new colleagues arrived in SCS Clementi. One of them was my senior SW major classmate. Suddenly, I felt so envious of them because they can get to do all the fun things that I did throughout my attachment. I suddenly felt a little sad because I am going to leave the agency in a few weeks time. I've asked them why they chose to join a VWO and both of them said they would like hands-on rather than policy-planning. Money do not seem to be a big problem to them. One of them even gave me a shocked face when I said I have to help pay house loan.

Now I am wondering how much a Social Worker earns in a VWO but I don't dare to ask any of my colleagues because it is a sensitive issue. At least I think so.

So I start to think on my way back home. If I can only earn $1600 per month, will I survive? I asked my mum if it is enough. She gave me a very duh face and said "OF COURSE NOT ENOUGH LA!".

"But what if I really really want to be a Social Worker?"
This, I didn't tell my mum. I think she might really feel that I am mad.

I think, think, and think. If I take four tuition kids, earning $150 from each kid, I will have an extra $600 per month. In total, $2200! I will put two kids on Saturday and another two kids on Sunday. If I happen to have Family Day or any other activities, I will lump my tuition sessions together. Every day will be occupied and I seem to have no life. But anyway, if I am not working, I would have slept at home anyway lor. So I might as well go and earn some money.

So, I am considering my second option now. I want to talk about this with a career counsellor in school or with my supervisor.

I feel that Social Work has made me think so much more than before. It's definitely a mistake if I stop practising in this field.

*deep thinking once more*